Head in the clouds and my vision is getting hazy

Chello World!

I wish I could say that I really feel as cheery as the greeting was, but I cannot.  I don't know what has gone on.  Things have been so AWESOME these past two weeks!  I have been really excited about what has been taking place in my life and the blessing that the good Lord has bestowed upon me.  Today, however, I just been having a feeling that I can't shake.  I have been feelinig like I'm lost again.  Like I have no direction but I have this urgent sense of "I gotta do something".  Let me explain a little more so you get a full understanding.

Ok so.  I have been having this ongoing battle in my mind of what it is I should be doing with myself.  Yes, I've been praying and all and I do have faith that He has a great plan for me and it will be made plain to me.  But there is part of the issue.  I have these little "epiphanies" of what it is I should be doing.  But is it God telling me to do this or just a coincidence that I'm taking more than serious than I should.  For example, the other day, out the blue I spoke with one of my favorite teachers in high school.  I was telling her about not really knowing what to do with myself and how to proceed on.  I told her that I thought about teaching and she was telling me that it would be good to do and thinks I would be a great at it.  So, like the sun shining from behind the clouds, I get this great idea (again.  this is not the first time I have thought this) to be a teacher.  So I have it in my mind that I am just going to go with teaching and do what I gotta do so that I can teach. 
Yeah! 

That's it! 

Teach! 

Woo hoo! 

Woo hoo. 

woo hoo. 

woo hoo?

Wait, why the heck am I so happy to freakin' teach?

So I sat and thought.  The good about it is:  I get to help enrich young lives and mold young minds, I get to talk (which I love), I get my summer and holidays off (so awesome), the start pay is pretty good.  The bad: not all kids want to be enriched or molded, I would need to go back to school for another two years or so, some places are cutting back on teachers.  The ugly:  kids can just be plain evil.

But then I sat and thought again "Lady, are you really debating about teaching or is the problem something else?"  I been going through this same battle with nursing, journalism, and human resources.  But the main thoughts have been teaching and nursing.  I don't know what I should be doing or where I should be going.  

Now I was doing really good lately.  Not concerning myself with all that.  Just taking it one day at a time and going where the wind blows me (*pause*).  Having the thought of  "if its for me to do something, it will just happen". 

A question came up last night at my part time job orientation.  "What are your future goals?  What do you plan to do in the next 5 years or so?"  As all the young ones went through saying how they just want to go to college and become a lawyer or fashion designer, I thought "Um, so, what do I wanna do in the next five years?  Heck, what do I wanna do when I get out of here in the next hour?"  Thus my thoughts and feelings this morning.

sigh.

So this is where I am.  What do I do?  A part of me wants to just go with the teaching idea and see what happens.  A part of me is saying to just sit still and keep doing what I'm doing.  A part of me just wants to go all the way to the left, move and find a job doing whatever.  A part of me is still saying to go home and figure it out from there.

Hmmmm.....

Well hello world!!!!

I would just like to say welcome one and all to the wonderful world of me!!!

I'm truly excited about this blog since this is something new for me.   My big bro thought it would be a good idea to spread my randomness all over than internet rather than just on FB and Twitter.  I think it would be too.  So enjoy this, I surely will!!!

K'Nikki